What a four days it has been.

I arranged to meet up with a friend on Monday, she offered her lovely house for a little playdate and I happily accepted. River and Summer were also very pleased with this offer and when we arrived they bounded upstairs and became very settled quickly with new toys.

Summer tends to pick toys she can arrange and ‘play’ with, so she was delighted with a dolls house and Sylvanian Families. River, well you never quite know, but he found some magnets which kept him content for a bit. He struggled a bit with sharing his playroom with Summer and was more agitated than usual. We retreated to the garden where he ran happily for a bit but then wasn’t happy again. He had some lunch and I eventually gave up and he had my phone for a bit so the rest of us could eat.

Little did I know that was going to be my last proper meal of the week…

We left pretty soon after lunch and started our walk back. Summer suggested we go into TK Maxx which normally I would 100 percent refuse as I’ve had numerous panic attacks in there, but it had air conditioning and I guess I was just agreeing to anything at this point to stop any more screaming. As we entered, the air conditioning was just enough to distract me from the endless rows of clothes, shoes and people and I swiftly guided them to the home section which can actually be quite fun. Of course, in July they already have their Halloween items displayed which was a lot of fun and I will definitely be purchasing a few at a later date!

Both kids were happy to peruse the toys and River eventually settled on a slime game which I was happy to buy, thinking it would give me a quiet afternoon. Summer could not decide what she wanted and I started to feel that familiar feeling and knew I had to leave. I promised her that she was owed a treat from another shop, we waited in a painful queue and then left as quickly as we could. I fully intended to let Summer wander around another shop but I felt like I had to get home.

We spotted the bus and Summer ran ahead to make sure it would wait. She bounded upstairs before I could stop her. She playfully asked where she should sit and was bouncing from chair to chair.

“Just sit down.” I practically growled at her.

She stopped immediately and sat down.

That’s not like me.

I just needed to get home.

The walk back from the bus stop felt so long and so hot.

We got home and I put the slime game on the table and thought that would be it. The game was very hard to set up, I couldn’t seem to focus on the instructions and then River kept screaming because the slime wasn’t coming out the right way.

After thirty minutes I declared it game over and said they could both have their iPads.

Everything Stops

I went to my bedroom and sat on my bed. I felt dizzy and then cold.

Yes, cold.

I checked my weather app. It’s 28 degrees outside. I haven’t felt cold in over a month. There’s a hosepipe ban for goodness’ sake.

I did as my body told me, put on my Eurovision hoodie, wrapped myself up in a blanket and I did feel a little better. I thought I could watch an episode on my phone but I needed to close my eyes.

I woke up to Kike being home and looking for the paracetamol because apparently I had a fever, despite insisting I was freezing.

And that’s been the last three days really. The nights have been the toughest, with fevers and what I might now list as my second residence… the bathroom.

I’ve survived on rehydration salts and the occasional Lucozade.

Now, what has this got to do with parenting you ask? Well, funnily enough, the children don’t disappear when you’re ill.

There isn’t a childcare godmother waiting around the corner to rescue you, so I had to figure it out.

Ironically I was going to try out a new weekly timetable this week to help River understand how the week was progressing and stop surprises.

I’m glad I didn’t. Most of it would have been crossed out.

Tuesday was the first activity to be cancelled. There was no way I was heading to a splash park, I could barely get out of bed.

The Village

Summer became head of the house and basically was my eyes and ears on River.

As I lay in bed, I could hear her.

“No River, not in your mouth.”

“You don’t need to shout, I can help you.”

She even managed to take him to the toilet.

I could get myself up long enough to open the front door to give them the McDonald’s I’d ordered and vaguely encourage them to play something, but not much. I realised this was not sustainable or fair on Summer so the messages began.

After lunch the first friend arrived and took over for the last couple of hours before Kike got home. She gently sent me back to bed, shut the bedroom door and let me sleep knowing both children were safe.

Tuesday night was particularly bad as I was up from 3am until 6am, so when friend number two arrived on Wednesday morning it was a much-needed pick me up. I could have a long shower, Summer wasn’t on River watch and she even put my washing out for me.

It struck me afterwards that support rarely looks like people imagine it does. There were no grand gestures, just friends quietly stepping in where they were needed. Watching the children so I could sleep. Hanging out the washing. Letting me have a shower. The sort of things that sound so small until you’re too ill to do them yourself.

She helped me get the children ready because, against advice, I was determined to take them to the next booked SEND session. It was a repeat of one of our favourites from last year – the relaxed session at Kew Gardens.

Against Advice

Kike arrived home armed with Lucozade and we Ubered it to the entrance. For those of you that know Kew, being driven to the gate doesn’t exactly mean you can now just walk into the bit you want to be in. It’s a big place, I mean, it is the largest botanical garden in England.

Wednesday also happened to be another mini heatwave.

Off we went, slowly.

Walking through the heat, powered by approximately three Lucozades, two pieces of toast and a few mouthfuls of rice over the previous fifty hours.

There was pausing whenever we could find a piece of shade and an obvious bathroom stop, but we made it.

What a difference a year makes… and what stays exactly the same.

River ran up the treetop walk but I didn’t run after him this time (I mean I literally couldn’t), but I didn’t have to. He knew how to go up and down on his own.

He wanted to return to the sand area but it was molten, so no one could stay there for long. Summer found her place on the calming centre lawn with some sensory activities where, of course, she made friends and they rehearsed a cartwheel dance routine. River found his water area and life was good.

I found a patch of grass in the shade and happily handed over the reins to Kike. They could bond over him having to hold a plastic cup while River endlessly filled it up and poured it down the funnels.

It was busier than last time. I think it was a combination of the summer holidays and the heat driving everyone into the water area. The areas that weren’t shaded were almost inaccessible.

It was fine though.

Both kids had a brilliant time and I was proud that I’d got them there.

A slow walk back round the pond, straight into an Uber and I was back ready for bed.

I gambled on having a bit of homemade soup. It tasted really good and I poured myself a cup.

This turned out not to be a good decision.

An Empty School

Today arrived and honestly, I was not in the best of places. My body felt weak and I just needed to feel better. Summer had a playdate which I was so pleased about because she needed a break as well.

Just a small matter of getting her there… and then what were River and I going to do?

Movie? I didn’t think I could get there.

Park? Too weak.

I had my shower, drank my hydration salts and we set off slowly, stopping by the shops to get the inevitable snacks for the day.

We dropped Summer off at her playdate. There were screams and a full-blown stand-off where River refused to get up off the pavement.

Funny, being so ill means you actually have no energy to argue, so I had even more patience than usual. I just perched on a wall until he was ready to get up.

I had made my plan.

He was coming to my work… which just so happens to have a few things there that might help me today.

People like to say the biggest perk of being a teacher is the holidays, which I am slowly proving to you is only true if you don’t have kids.

But I have found a new one.

If you have a child who does not like being around others, noise or rules but likes all the other things kids like, then they will love an empty school.

River got an entire outdoor area to himself. He happily played with the water tray for an hour, had his lunch while we read books, explored the construction toys and then did a couple of games on the interactive whiteboard.

He ran around the playground a couple of times but there were other children there from the holiday club, which he wasn’t keen on, so he swiftly retreated back.

I began to feel dizzy and realised I was pushing it, still going strong on about my fifth Lucozade in seventy-two hours.

I put on Horrible Science (his new favourite programme) and lay down for thirty minutes, ready for the walk to collect Summer and head home.

Kike met us on the way back and I handed him the bags my body not prepared to hold them anymore. He suggested getting an Uber but we were already halfway home.

We got in and I happily handed River his iPad.

“It’s all yours, sweetheart.”

I went to lie down while Kike sorted dinner.

Kike and Summer left for jiu-jitsu. River and I sat contently watching our own programmes, played a bit of Roblox together, rewatched his favourite episode of Horrible Science, he had a bath and went to bed happy.

And I ate.

I’ve eaten some rice, a bit of chicken and a bit of bread.

Let’s wait and see, but I’m feeling hopeful.

Looking Back

Looking back, it’s funny how quickly plans change.

I’d spent time thinking about visual timetables and helping River understand what each day would look like, and within twenty-four hours every plan had gone out of the window. The splash park didn’t happen, the timetable would have been pointless. There was far more screen time than I would normally allow, more Lucozade than any doctor would probably recommend and very little actual parenting on my part.

But the children adapted because they had to.

Summer quietly stepped into a role she should never really have had to. She kept an eye on her brother, reminded him not to put things in his mouth, took him to the toilet and somehow still managed to be her usual kind, funny self. Watching her this week made me incredibly proud, but it also reminded me that siblings adapt too. They don’t really get a choice.

My friends reminded me that support doesn’t always look like someone swooping in to rescue you. Sometimes it’s someone watching the children so you can sleep, hanging out the washing, helping get everyone ready or simply turning up because they know you need them. None of them made me feel guilty for cancelling plans or not being able to do everything. They just quietly got on with helping.

And River… he adapted too.

The splash park became a lot of Horrible Science. Kew partly rescued another day in bed. An empty school became our haven. The plans changed, but as long as the people around him adapted, he carried on.

I spend a lot of time trying to make life predictable for River, but this week reminded me that none of us can prepare for everything. Sometimes life has other ideas. You change the plan, accept the help that’s offered and trust that you’ll get through it.

This definitely wasn’t the week I’d planned.

But somehow, between friends and a very patient nine-year-old, we all got through it.

And tonight, for the first time all week, tomorrow feels a little less daunting.

Obviously, there is a lucozade in the fridge, just in case.