Morning Adjustments

Kike took the day off so I could start recovering. When I’m in a flare (that’s when everything simply stops working), there’s not much I can do except rest. He managed to get River up and give him breakfast but last night caught up with him too and he went back to sleep.

I dragged myself up to make Summer’s packed lunch, she wanted to go to holiday club today and I decided I could walk her there. We waited for the rain to stop and then set off. She chatted the whole way, about making Emma watch K-pop demon hunters last night and then 101 other things that popped into her head.

After dropping her off, I went to the shop to pick up some lunch for River. (Why do we never have any food?) With my favourite podcast in my ears, I was happily browsing when the pain struck. I’d forgotten, I was supposed to be resting.

Stuck

It was only a short walk, but suddenly I couldn’t move my foot without intense pain. I paid quickly and tried to make it home. Kike messaged: “All OK?” I had been gone too long. I admitted: “I’m stuck.” He asked if he should come get me, but without a car, that would just mean me shuffling home slowly with River shouting Halloween words beside me.

I messaged back: “I’ll make it.” And I did. It took a while, but eventually I made it home.

Bed Rest

That was the end of the line, though. My body has been begging for rest and since I haven’t given it, it forced me to. Bed rest for the foreseeable.

River came and laid with me for a bit. He’s got sores on his face, he’s picked at something, maybe a spot or a mosquito bite and it keeps bleeding. “I don’t like blood,” he says. I try to help: “Mummy help, put cream.” But then come the screams: “NOOOO!” and he runs away. Like always, I’ll do it while he sleeps.

I stayed in bed for the next three hours, watching TV, with River popping in and out.

A Small Lift

Kike collected Summer later and we moved into the usual rhythm of dinner, bath and bedtime.

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The Week’s End

Friday means the official end of the “working week” of the summer holidays. The weekend, then straight back to work at 8:30am Monday.

I haven’t sorted Summer’s new school shoes or her Autumn jacket. A food shop needs to be done so I can start making lunches again. Work emails are waiting in my inbox.

The holiday is nearly over, but I don’t feel refreshed, recharged, or ready to go. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve had more than a couple of hours away from River in almost 40 days. No wonder my body is starting to shut down.

Reflection

This flare feels like my body’s way of reminding me there are limits and if I don’t respect them, it will force me to. Rest isn’t optional; it’s survival. With the return to work looming, I can’t help but wonder how I’ll hold everything together. But for now, it’s Friday night and I’ll take things one slow step at a time.

I know these last 38 days have been long and heavy, but they’ve also shown me that I can endure more than I think. Recovery will come, little by little, and there will be good moments again. Next week will bring its own challenges but it will also bring its own joys and I’ll meet them, just as I always do.