So, I know I said no extra admin this Christmas and I did mean it but obviously going on holiday does come with a slight drawback… actually getting there.

And because Jet2 holidays only fly from airports that are nowhere near my house, this was always going to be an adventure.

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Step 1: Leaving the House

Saturday. We wake up and finish packing. I’d packed earlier in the week so it wasn’t too bad and just after lunch we set off.

Uber to the train station.
Pretty easy, although River was desperate to play with the windows which was… tricky.

Step 2: Train One

Train to Farringdon.
The train was rammed but we did manage to get a seat. River was happy enough making faces at the other passengers. Summer, however, began to look a bit pale.

Step 3: The Lift Incident

Change trains to the overground.
This should have been simple. It was not.

You have to take a lift up two floors. I did not know this. We got out on the first floor and someone did not want to go back in the lift. After much screaming, we got to the second floor… and left the station.

Why? I don’t know. I think I was a bit dazed after the screaming.

We re-entered the station to a smiling member of staff who said,
“I watched you leave and knew you’d made a mistake.”

Thanks.

More lift fun and onto train number two.

Step 4: Train Two

The second train was empty, which was good, because River didn’t like trains anymore. Once he was settled, though, he enjoyed looking out the window.

Step 5: The Black Cab Decision

We arrived at Luton Parkway with three options:

• Shuttle to the airport and walk back (didn’t really want to go into the airport yet – confusing)
• Walk to the hotel (20 minutes uphill)
• Black cab

Clearly, the black cab won.

Step 6: Airport Hotel

Expectations were low, but by this point I just wanted to get rid of the luggage. The room was fine, smaller than the photo, obviously, but we dumped the bags and headed down for a well-deserved drink.

Step 7: Drinks, Dinner & Disaster

We ordered a beer, a wine, a lemonade and an orange juice (because that’s all they had).

I watched and waited.
Yep. River still doesn’t like orange juice.

Luckily, I carry squash at all times (thanks Suzy for introducing me to emergency mini squash bottles). I took a sip of my wine and went back upstairs to get it.

I returned feeling very pleased with myself.
Kike’s face told a different story.

The table was empty.

Summer had got carried away with the rocking chairs and tipped everything over.
Bye-bye wine.

She apologised profusely and then got teary, said she felt cold and wanted to lie down. We moved to the sofas, ordered food, made sure everyone ate something and eventually headed back to the room.

I settled everyone and went back downstairs for an hour to myself.

Early night. All going to plan.

Except…
Summer started vomiting.

The night became a blur of fevers, sickness and River screaming because the room was too dark.

Step 8: The Airport (3:45am Edition)

3:45am arrived. We walked to the airport.

Summer looked slightly better. River was very excited.

Check-in: easy.
Security: easy.
Breakfast spot found.

Too early for River to eat, apparently, and Summer was back to looking poorly.

Airports are overwhelming places when you actually stop and think about them. I’d never really noticed before, airports used to feel like part of my commute when I was flying to Colombia every six weeks to see Kike.

But River struggled.

The lights. The people. The noise. The waiting. The machines.

He did well but the little noises started (speech was a step too far), then screaming, then zoning out.

We made it to the plane in mostly one piece. I was very glad we brought the pushchair.

Step 9: The Flight

Why does it take so long for a plane to take off?

I knew this would be hard. I’d mentally prepared myself. I had not factored in a sick Summer but here we are.

River did not want to be on the plane.
He definitely didn’t want to be on a plane that wasn’t moving.

No seatbelt.
No seat.
“I WANNA GET OFF THE PLANE.”

Forty-five long minutes.

And then, mercy, we took off and the universe finally gave me a break. River fell asleep under his Halloween blanket, quietly muttering, “I want to go home.”

He slept for two and a half hours.

Summer’s iPad ran out of battery.
She spilt her juice and my Coke all over the seats. Twice.

My thigh went numb because I didn’t dare move and wake the sleeping boy.

He is very cute when he’s asleep.

We’d downloaded River’s programmes. Summer had hers.
Kike and I? No.

So we raw-dogged a four-and-a-half-hour flight.
(It’s not cool. It’s not clever. We won’t do it again.)

I did the word search. I read the Jet2 magazine.

When he woke, not having YouTube caused the predictable upset but he moved on quicker than expected.
None of the food I pre-purchased was eaten. There was lots of screaming but nothing too bad.

All in all… it could have been worse.
(Let’s save that for the flight home.)

Step 10: Arrival Chaos

I knew he wouldn’t like waiting to leave the plane but turns out none of us were allowed to.

Rows 9–17 stayed seated. Police at the door. Long waits. New security system.

Nearly two hours after landing, we finally got on the coach.

Step 11: The Coach

Spirits were surprisingly high. Sunshine helps.

We still hadn’t heard the Jet2 holiday song, so Summer and I sang it ourselves while looking at the volcanic landscape of Lanzarote.

Then from the back row:
“Sarah!”

I turned around.

Yep. Vomiting.

Bag out. Clothes changed. Ignoring the smell filling the coach.

Step 12: The Hotel

We arrived with two very pale children.

To be fair, the hotel looked amazing. The staff were lovely. Both kids ran around the entrance and were given balloons. The sickness seemed to vanish.

We were driven to our room in an adventure buggy, instant hit.

Our room is themed. With a dragon pool.

Journey forgotten. Illness forgotten. Swimming gear on. Off we went.

Early nights tonight, the fun can’t fully erase the illness just yet.

We’ve got the whole week to explore.
I can wait another night for the evening entertainment.

We made it. Somehow.