Day 47: Pirates, Picnics and the Deep Dark Wood

A Slow Start to Sunday

I asked Kike to take Summer to swimming this morning. I’d gone to bed fairly early but I just couldn’t face another 9am club. It still meant I was up with River but once he’s got his breakfast and his shows, he’s pretty easy company.

I haven’t done a full day count of how many times he says “Mum” or “Mummy” like I once promised myself I would, but this morning I tested it for an hour. The result? 15. About every 4 minutes.
It’s funny in one sense, I could probably make a drinking game out of it if it weren’t 8am but there’s also something revealing about it. It’s not just attention-seeking in the way people often assume. It’s River’s way of tethering himself to me, of checking that I’m still there. Still listening. Still his safe place. It’s relentless at times and it can wear me thin but it’s also a reminder of how much he needs that constant reassurance.

The morning went slowly and I paced myself because we had plans later. Summer carried on with her crafts, while River and I read some books. One being a pirate book I’d chosen for him yesterday. Little by little, I’m trying to expand his interests beyond Halloween. Not that we don’t all support the love for Halloween but it’s nice to have some variety.

Speaking of Halloween, I’ve already started booking things. Last year was a lesson learned. We decorated the house from October 1st, adding little bits every few days until the big day. River adored the build-up, the decorations, the crafts. But when Halloween actually arrived, he refused to leave the house. He cried and screamed at both of the events I’d planned. It broke my heart.

I’ve wondered if he loves Halloween in the safety of home but struggles with it outside, in unpredictable spaces. This year I’m being more careful: checking access, emailing about SEND considerations and choosing things that link to what he already loves. We’ve got a theatre trip booked and a local National Trust garden is running We’re Going on a Ghost Hunt one of his favourite books.

Picnic in the Park

After lunch, both kids had a little iPad time while Kike did some much-needed garden clearing. Then we packed up blankets, chairs, snacks and a ball and headed to the park for a friend’s birthday picnic. One of the things I love about living here is how many green spaces we have, even in London. Our local park is huge and only a ten-minute walk away.

I’ll admit I was a little apprehensive beforehand. The guys are lovely but they’re younger than us and none of them have kids. Turning up as the only parents always carries that double-weight, you crave adult conversation but your reality is half-listening while your eyes scan constantly for where your children have darted off to. I managed a couple of short conversations between playing football with Summer and calling after River, who was determined to run as far away as possible.

The Deep, Dark Wood

It wasn’t long before both children demanded the playground. Summer disappeared straight to her favourite, the swing, while River and I wandered. He flitted across everything for about a minute before heading to the outskirts, which he calls “the deep, dark wood.” (For anyone not fluent in children’s books, that’s from The Gruffalo.)

I did manage to persuade him to have a photo being a pirate – still trying to promote the new theme!

We spent the next half hour re-enacting the story in the bushes. I tried to shorten it but of course we had to meet every animal in order. To his credit, River was joining in with more of the lines this time. His pronunciation still needs work, when he tries to string too many words together, they blur into one but it’s progress. Something to bring up with his therapist.

After an hour, Kike came to find us and we returned just in time for cake. Summer happily tucked into two slices of red velvet. River wanted cake but not that one, so that was a win for Summer. Then it was already time to head home.

Sunday Night Wind Down

After about an hour, Kike came to find us and we returned just in time for cake. Summer was delighted with two slices of red velvet (River wanted cake, but not that one). Then it was time to head home.

Showers for both kids, a relatively easy bedtime thanks to River’s exhaustion and now here I am, Sunday night. Summer’s got her first full week of school ahead, complete with clubs and swimming. Kike is staying home with River tomorrow as Kate is busy and the tube strike will make everything more stressful for Londoners.

I’m hoping Kike will have an OK day with River and they can have some fun times together. I know he doesn’t always find it easy and he struggles to follow my strict routine. But he’s his dad and loves him very much so I’m sure they’ll figure it out.