A Bloody Start

My glamorous life began at 7am with dragging rubbish out of the shed for the council pick-up: River’s old mattress, a broken dryer, a sand/water tray past its best and more worn-out shoes than I care to admit. River woke up not long after and something about him looked different. Under the red glow of his sensory lights, I saw it – his face.

He’d been scratching again. By the time I got a proper look, his face and arm were covered in dried blood. Trying to wash it off was a battle of screams until I showed him the tissue and said:
“Blood, mummy clean it.”

He paused. About to say no, then stopped. “OK.” And he let me wipe it away. His face looks so sore, but I’ll keep it clean and sneak on cream while he sleeps.

Summer’s Wobbly Start

Meanwhile, Summer didn’t have a great first day back at school. She’s always loved it and was so excited, so to see her upset was hard. I’m hoping it was just first-day overwhelm (and maybe an ill-placed spelling test). She seemed better this morning after a big cuddle, though not her usual bubbly self.

My Work Journey

Work was positive, I met my new Year 6 class (that I teach once a week) and they were a delight.

I don’t have a full-time class anymore. For years I did, mainly Reception, sometimes Year 1. I climbed the ladder: mentor, subject / phase lead, trainer. But since the kids, it’s been harder to juggle everything. River, especially, changed things. At first, I stopped working completely. But staying home with him made me more tired and unwell.

We tried private nursery days, but living in London made that unsustainable. I tried part-time teaching, but it was the wrong fit and my health collapsed again. We tried supply, but the instability and poor pay meant debt kept piling.

Then last year, my first school, (where I originally trained) advertised for a full-time supply teacher. It was the break I needed. I get to do what I love without the overwhelm of having my own class. It’s not easy, but it works for my health, for my kids and for our family.

River with Kate

Meanwhile, River’s week with Kate has been golden. They’d planned to go out today but the weather said otherwise. A day indoors, then. Kate quickly discovered why I’m militant about meal times.

If River is hungry, everything escalates. I choose to stick to his Nursery timetable: morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack – always on time. Today, because of the rain, lunch was about 30 minutes late and he completely lost the plot when Kate unplugged his iPad. But after some food and calm, he was back to giggles, throwing out a happy “Boo-yah.”

Kike doesn’t love the strictness of the schedule but right now, it works and I’ll hold onto it. I’ll change it up when he moves up through the school.

Evening Reset

I came home, River and I played “Floor is Lava,” and then I had some quality time with Summer – NZ Traitors S2 is getting good.

River’s currently stuck between two scripts:

His “lost friend Gary” and his endless hunt for Santa. Tonight he wouldn’t even say goodnight to Daddy or Summer, only Santa. It will be ironic if we finally get to say goodbye to Halloween only for it to be replaced with a different holiday celebration.

Tomorrow is Friday, a full day of classes for me, River’s last day with Kate and hopefully a smoother end to the week for Summer.

Reflection

Sometimes it feels like my whole life is one long balancing act, between health, work, finances, the kids’ needs and my own energy. But today reminded me why I made the choices I did. This version of work, this version of family life, it’s not perfect but it’s ours and for now, it works.