Day 16: The Night Before

The Spark of an Idea

A few months ago, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, another summer looming with no holiday plans, when I came across an article about new SEND-friendly resorts offered by TUI. I had a click. It looked promising. The staff are all “trained” in working with neurodiversity, which probably means they all watched the same online video and completed five quiz questions… but hey, it’s a start!

I rang the company and they were so nice on the phone. They’ve already put some extra steps in place for River at the airport and there are specific sensory areas for him in the hotel. It’s more expensive than I would usually pay but it was a last-minute booking in peak summer – and if it works, then we’ll find the money and go again.

Destination: Ibeefa

So yes, we’re off to Ibiza! (Or “Ibeefa,” as I’m teaching Summer to say.) The Jet2Holiday craze seems to have died a death, so let’s hope no one films us for TikTok if there’s a meltdown on the flight.

I packed the kids’ clothes three days ago. Now I’m finishing up mine and Kike’s. I’m not sure when exactly the role of “family holiday logistics manager” became mine, but here we are.

Packing Fears and Planning for Meltdowns

I’ve packed a small pharmacy for every eventuality. My anxiety over River leaving the country is at peak levels. We’ve spent so long creating a carefully curated home environment that suits his needs and keeps him mostly regulated. And now? Ibiza.

I’ve tried to predict the meltdowns before they happen:

He won’t want to wait when checking in – the airline said we can have priority check-in.
The airport will be busy and overwhelming – we will retreat to a restaurant with his iPad.
Once he sees the plane, he’ll want to board immediately – we will head to the gate just before boarding and he has priority boarding so can board first.
Noise of takeoff – we’ve got ear defenders and lollipops for distraction.
No YouTube on the plane – hmm, stuck on this one. I’ve downloaded his favourite Halloween shows, but he usually chooses what he watches. I suspect this is where I lose him. But! I’ve packed snacks, squishy things and a new toy. And I’m secretly hoping he’ll be so exhausted, he’ll sleep.
Waiting to get off the plane? – No control there.
It’s going to be hot (not River’s favourite feeling) – I’ve got portable fans ready and a change of clothes into shorts.
A rep should be waiting to help with the transfer.

Today: Calm Before the Travel Storm

Today was prepping day. I woke up with a sore throat. Kike didn’t sleep well again. We are just oozing holiday energy.

There were no screen limits today, iPads and TV stayed on while I stayed focused (and calm). We showed River videos of the hotel, talked about holidays, planes, the beach. It’s a delicate timing game. If we prep too early, he’ll want to go immediately and won’t understand why he can’t. But if we don’t prep at all, it’s the complete unknown. Either way, it’s a roll of the dice.

One More Sleep

So I tell him, one more time:
“We’re going on holiday.”
“River is going on a plane.”
“River can go swimming.”

This gets a reaction.

“Swimming! YES!” he shouts, running straight to the pushchair.

“No sweetheart, not swimming now. On holiday. After we’ve been on the plane.”
“Swimming?”
I repeat, “Not swimming now. After the plane.”

He looks sad. I need to find a better way.

I go to CBeebies, it’s my go-to at school when I need a fun, educational programme linked to our topic. I find a few shows about going on holiday. He enjoys them, but I’m not convinced he’s connected it to himself yet.

I know I should have printed out his own social story but our printer broke and honestly, I forgot.
What will be, will be now.
I’ve done all I can.

The day has gone pretty much how I predicted and actually, it’s been fine. River watched a lot of TV, so was very content. Summer cleaned her room (!!) and we listened to the K-Pop Demon Hunter Soundtrack four times. I even managed to pop back to the shops and actually buy something. Baths, showers, hair-washed, bedtime… done.

I don’t know how tomorrow will go. I’ve done everything I can think of to support him.

And here’s the thing, going on holiday is something I want. Something I need. A break. A change. A shift in scenery and space, a bit of sun and maybe even a cocktail on a balcony.

But can River handle it?

That’s the constant dance. The balance between his needs and mine. Between what might stretch him and what might overwhelm him. Between what restores me and what risks dysregulating him.

We’re all checked in. One row. Currently with an empty seat.
I hope (for their sake) it stays that way.

Tomorrow, hopefully, I’ll be writing from my Ibiza balcony… sipping that cocktail… after an amazing journey.
Hopefully.

I mustn’t forget to pack his sensory lights in the morning!!