Day 11: Haircuts, Meltdowns & BBQs

The Promise of a Slower Start

It’s Saturday, so that means one thing: Kike is not at work!
River woke up at 5.45am. I listened to him for a bit, but by 6am I nudged Kike – today, I needed some time. A little breathing space.

Summer and I had a haircut booked, something I was genuinely looking forward to. A bit of us time. No scripts, no jelly babies, just mother and daughter time.

Summer was a little anxious about cutting her hair. She adores her long curls, but they’ve become so tricky to manage; not to mention our recent back-to-back run-ins with the dreaded nits. Poor Kike had never encountered them before, so watching him meet the tiny comb for the first time was both painful and hilarious. After round two, I declared she had to get it cut. There were tears but once I said, “Think of all the new hairstyles you can try,” she came around.

Haircuts and Memories

I used to have really long hair too. Hated anyone touching it. Then my brother became a hairdresser and, well, short it went. I became the “new girl” at school, dramatic chop and all. But I loved it. Still do.
I love not having to do anything with my hair.

Truth is, I’m pretty low maintenance. I don’t wear make-up, I don’t like the feel of products on my face. I don’t wear jewellery, don’t get my nails done. No one has ever touched my eyebrows. Even on my wedding day, I turned down the makeup artist. The fake eyelashes alone sent me into full panic. Instead, a friend brushed on a little foundation and some lipstick. That was enough. I looked like myself and I didn’t spend the whole day wondering what was on my face.

Maybe it’s sensory. Maybe it’s just me knowing what keeps me regulated. I’m sure everyone has something that helps them feel like themselves in a world that often feels like too much.

The Crash: When the Outside World Gets Loud

Of course, just when I think the day might be easy, it never is.

I wasn’t feeling my best from the moment I woke up, and while I tried to rest, River thought it would be fun to jump into bed and “pretend” to sleep. Kike explained, “Mummy isn’t feeling well,” so naturally River fetched the doctor’s kit.

We set off for our appointments, only to find out the tube wasn’t working. We rerouted, managed the journey. Summer and I came out with our new looks.. But the return home? A mess.

I suddenly felt disoriented, and the panic set in. My Uber app wasn’t working. The coal for the BBQ hadn’t arrived. Summer was firing questions about her hair. I felt dizzy. I knew this feeling, I’ve lived it before. It’s part EDS, part chronic conditions with charming acronyms, possibly part the sheer weight of constant responsibility.

I remember last year, mid-chat with a friend, collapsing “the black cloud” I called it: ambulance, the works. That same cloud started creeping in today. So, we sat on the pavement. I ordered a black cab. Summer instinctively put her arm around me. She’s seen this before. I hate that she has. But she knows. And we manage.

The Friend Who Shows Up

We had friends coming over for a BBQ and this wasn’t just any friend. This was Kate, the friend who cleaned my house while I slept. I messaged her, “Not feeling my best.” She replied instantly, offering to cancel. But truthfully, I knew the kids would benefit from the company and so would Kike.

They arrived armed with energy, toys and even better their dog. River was ecstatic. He jumped, played and ran circle around him. Andy immediately started playing with River with a toy that shoots plastic balls into the air. River responded, with squeals, excitement, even following instructions. Andy was blown away.

Kate obviously brought a giant container of putty which is incredibly therapeutic and actually part of River’s occupational therapy plan but of course exactly what every parent hates. It’s fine she says, it’s putty not slime. “IT’S SLIME!” The shout comes from both the children. Turns out putty can become slime if you put it in the water tray – who would have thought!

Slime, Sun, and Survival

The rest of the afternoon blurred into a hazy mix of balloons, music, BBQ smoke, putty-covered hands, and children’s laughter. I was exhausted, my face literally drooping, eyes barely open but I was there. I didn’t cancel. And actually? I’m glad.

Everyone had a good day. River had joy. Summer had company. Kike had support. And I… well I love being around people.Tomorrow will be a bed day. It has to be. There’s too much to do next week. We’re going away. But that’s for another post, tonight, I’ll sleep. And if nothing else, I’ll sleep knowing we made it through another day.